Was It Love?

You are despicable
Downright dirty
Filled with all kinds of evil
Yet I showed you pity
Words so poisonous, lethal
Attitude so shitty
Look what you put me through
I hated the fact that
I loved you so
Now I just want to take it all back
But in reality I did it for you though
Love and hate
In my soul
Is where those emotions resonate
I felt for you
I loved for you
Yet you never saw it as true
I proved my love many times
But what you saw through your eyes
Was something that never satisfied you
I knew in my mind that
I couldn't give you what you wanted
But I keep going to try to somehow
Insure that there would still be a you and me
So that we could be together
But now  I'm wondering was that love
Or was that just me not wanting to lose
The feel of the moment
Was a afraid of losing you
Or was I afraid of losing the feeling
That I had been longing,yearning, and searching for

- Volt